View Through A Broken Mirror

People place expectations on you. Some call you useless. Ugly. Stupid. Careless. Selfish.
Aimlessly throwing words around without thinking about how much it can cut an individual and even scar permanently.
So much to endure in each day, even the person you trust the most has so much to say about how imperfect you are and will always be.
In the end there is no one but yourself to rely on. Give up. If everyone thinks the same about you, surely you are the problem. This thought is always first to mind.

Pushed to a corner,how is it there is any self confidence left in your inner being? The world sucks it up in the blink of an eye.

So here i stand as the imperfect being that i am. Trying as i will but will you accept that im trying?
Hell. ive never worked this hard ever.
So dont see me for who i could be, instead patiently watch as i tape up the cracks that exist all around me.

It’s as if history just repeated itself again. There are a lot of things I fail at in life but this would be the one thing I will never overcome; not afraid to admit I’m absolutely terrible at it. How that came to be? I wouldn’t have a clue. Human interaction must not be my strong point. I must’ve been cursed to be this way. 

Faced with the same difficult problem, even though I say I don’t want to run away this time, it recurs in my subconscious mind.

The big question is

When history repeats itself; what am I going to do this time? 

Lord knows its killing me on the inside. 

ahh…this feeling of frustration. 

So very familliar, why haven’t I missed you.

About time I do what I do best.

Run away. 

I’m so over this

Thought of giving my dad a better cooked dinner tonight so I bought lamb cutlets. Theoretically it works out fine..in my head.

but when I tried to multitask by cooking rice, lamb, cut garlic and peel at the vegetables all at once…this didn’t work out so well.

The end results was: 

burnt rice, stove splashed with oil from the lamb => sueann eats a piece of bread and dad eats a tiny portion of slightly burnt rice

Hard time scraping off the burnt rice from the rice cooker and the stove needs to be washed down :(((

Guess I haven’t fully mastered multitasking just yet. I swear I’m not such a terrible cook when I take my time..

That’s if you want dinner 3 hours later.

For those who know me a little better, I think you’ve probably heard me rave on about how I love the game Left 4 Dead very much and I get very aggressive in the swear deparment when I play this game.

Well then. You can imagine how amazingly great I felt when I found this video on youtube where the characters were modified into dinosaurs. 

This just put the cherry on the cake for me, and I THOUGHT I was having a great day, now its turned into one hell of a great day :D 
Deserves a smiley face.

I feel like a douchebag for talking about computer games. 

Parents

Today has just been one of those days.
Looking down at your bed only to realise you’ve ended up on the wrong side this morning.

Everything then starts going downhill and by the end of this exhausting day, nothing was accomplished well and anyone who came across your path took a massive blow to the head due to lack of communication skills. 

Today was that day. 
Tired. Stressed out and left in the dark about certain issues.

But today dad and I had a pleasant dinner. Dining at its finest. Grill’d Burgers.

He asked me how my course was going 

and everything spilled out of my mouth all at once. 
Being an Asian parent by nature, he didn’t really give me great advise but having someone who was there for me when I was feeling at my lowest was all I needed. Even if we sat eating in silence. 

I’m beginning to understand the word family a little more. 
Better now than never.